Fathers Day

Snaffles Mummy has inspired me to write a tribute to my father for fathers day.

My parents separated when I was 14 years old, much to my devastation.  They had a turbulent and violent marriage that quite honestly made memories of my childhood into nightmares. I remember waking many a Christmas eve to parents screaming and arguing and then not speaking to each other on Christmas day.  Christmas to me as a child symbolised drink fuelled arguments and misery.  So after 24 years of marriage they made their final separation when I was 14 after yet another of my mother's affairs with another man.  My parents had separated a number of times whilst I was a child I knew that one day they would do so for the final time.  I always assumed that when it happened my mother and I (my sisters are 6 and 7 years older than me) would stick together.  In fact when it finally happened my Dad was devastated and being an opinionated teenager with strong morals I decided that I was not prepared to leave my distraught father on his own to go and live with my Mum and her new boyfriend.  I now know that this was the best decision I ever made.


Looking after a teenage girl is difficult for anybody and up until my Mum left my Dad had never exactly been "hands on" when it came to childcare!  That being said he rose to the challenge.

My Dad has always been honest with me, given me advice whether I thought I needed it or not, guided me when I needed it but gave me the freedom to grow.  He did not always deal with things in the most conventional way (punching my first boyfriend in the face in front of me because he was 12 years older than me - I was 14 - do the maths!!! - taught me a valuable lesson) but he always had my best interests at heart.  He left me a note when I went into do my first GCSE exam, which I still have to this day, it said "To do your best and fail would still be to do your best and I will am proud of you whatever the result" (ok so I have improved the spelling!).  Then being the first person in my family to go to University he supported me throughout and prevented me from quitting when I had already made my mind up to do so.  I am now a qualified solicitor and owe the thanks for that to him.

My Dad gave me the greatest gift any  father could ever give a child - he believed in me.  Dad - you're the best!

Kx

Sharks are Friends not Food!

Ok, so bear with me please, I love sharks and think they are very misunderstood and magnificent fish. One of the most memorable moments of my life was swimming in the pacific ocean and seeing a school of 100+ hammerheads swimming all around me. I have had many an argument before now with people who are afraid of sharks, think I am crazy to dive with them near me or even worse think it is acceptable to eat them.

It seems to me that in any film portraying a shark they are always the monsters that eat people. I even witnessed my friends little boy recently pretending he was a shark (with Jaws theme tune and all) and saying he was going to eat me – he is 3 years old! Due to this the sympathy, and as a consequence protection, of this endangered species is seriously lacking.

Let me give some specific examples of injustices:

1. Sharks kill people, I accept that. Usually around 2 people per year. The number of people who drown each year however is in excess of 3,000. When I go diving with sharks my friends get very nervous about this and wonder if I have lost my mind. At no point however do they express their concern about the risk of me drowning.

Elephants kill around 50 people per year. When I tell people that I got married in Sri lanka and my wedding transport was an elephant I get the response of “wow” or “how cool” not omg, how dangerous - are you mad!

Over a million people each year are killed in road traffic collisions yet I do not know a single person who considers it too dangerous to travel in a vehicle.

My point is there is absolutely no logic to the fear people have of sharks this is simply something which has been instilled in people by the media.

Sharks are wild predators which need to be respected but that respect does not need to be in the form of fear to the point of hysteria.


2. My second angry rant – eating sharks. Whilst humans are quick to point to sharks as the angry “mankiller” there appears to me to be insufficient outrage in respect of how many sharks are killed by humans each year. It is estimated (MCS) that for every fatal shark attack, 10 million sharks are killed by humans.

Many shark species are classified as endangered and more are being added to the list on a constant stream. I cannot see why it would be acceptable to hunt any creature to the point of extinction.

Furthermore shark finning is a barbaric and outrageous practice which should simply not be condoned. On many occasions a shark is caught, the fin is removed while it is alive and then it is thrown back into the water to either starve to death, be eaten alive by other fish, or drown. Many people think of this happening in far away places but I live in Lincoln, England and there is a Chinese restaurant near me which serves shark fin soup!!! This enrages me. Going back to my earlier analogy about elephants, do you think it would be accepted if a local Indian restaurant decided to serve elephant meat? Do you think it would be accepted any more if it became known (for example) that the general practice was that the elephant had the leg chopped off for the meat while it was alive and was then left to starve to death? I doubt it very much. Would the practice of finning even be ignored if the fins came from cute dolphins….


Finally my thanks and Plea:

Thank you so much for reading my post, which I have no doubt you will realise I feel passionately about. Please think twice before spending your hard earned money in any establishment which condones the practice of shark finning and encourage your friends to do the same. Finally please do not pass on your irrational shark fear to your children so we can hope that the next generation can be far enough removed from Jaws to make the difference we haven’t.

Her Fearful Symmetry - Audrey Niffenegger

I first read Time Traveler's Wife when it was revealed as one of Richard and Judy's book club in 2005 and after questioning the impossibility of time travel and getting my head around that I instantly fell in love with it and it became my favourite book (at that time). So when Audrey Niffenegger released Her Fearful Symmetry last year I could not wait to read it. My lovely friend L got the book fro Christmas and after reading it gave it straight to me to read. After reading the first 2 pages and deciding that the plotline had a degree of predictability to it (I could already see it coming) I put it down and despite picking it up on a number of occasions it took me until April to sit down on holiday and read it. I was not smitten by it at any point but did not want to give up on it given my love for her previous book so I persevered.

I felt that throughout that book that it was far fetched and predictable. Books do not have to be realistic (falling in love with 109 year old vampire who would like nothing more than to drain your blood is totally acceptable) don't get me wrong but I felt that there was no logic to the actions taken by some of the characters and it seemed clear to end in disaster. The love story side of the tale was very sad with no real saving grace of happiness or deep rooted feeling and at no point was I gripped to read more.

Sorry but it is a 3 out of 10 from me!

Book Reviews

I love reading (see earlier blog) and I am extremely opinionated ( I know you would never know!) so I thought as part of my blog I might review some of the books I read. So here goes for my first review (sorry to start on a negative note)...

Summer

Everybody has a favourite season of the year and mine is officially summer – why I hear you ask?

1. Flip flops – like most girls I LOVE shoes and I am sure my husband would say I have far too many (but clearly the truth is I do not have enough!). Of all the shoes however for daywear flip flops are my favourite and I love to wear them as soon as there is a slight hint of warmth in the air until I am forced by cold toes to put them away again.

2. Camping – if you need me to say more then please read this. There is no better feeling than sitting outside in the fresh air drinking a glass of wine and putting the world to rights. Then for hot chocolate and toasted marshmallows before bed and being woken up to the bright sunshine and sound of cows mooing. Bliss!

3. Barbeques – I love a good barbeque. A chance to get together with friends and sit outside. If combined with camping (see above) all the better!

4. Long days – I never have enough time to do the things I want to do. In summer when I get home from work it is still daylight for a good few hours and this makes the days seem so much longer with so much more time to do the fun things (like laying in the hammock in my garden reading a book).

Ah long live the warm weather….

Hobbies - Reading

Reading is one of my favourite pastimes. I know some people who do not read and I feel incredibly sorry for them because I believe that they miss out on so much. Reading takes me away to another world than neither real life nor television can achieve. Any book is different to any reader too because you create the fantasy world in your own imagination.

The images which you create in your mind are not something that you can explain to another person because they are unique to you as the reader. I am never without a book to read and usually have a queue of them bought or borrowed from friends waiting to take the place of the last. If a film adaptation of a book is released, I always read the book before I go to the cinema so that my imagination cannot be inhibited by the power of the visual image - for me Edward Cullen is not Robert Pattinson!

I love a good autobiography so that I can delve into the lives of the rich and famous and I love a fictional book which will take me away from real life to an amazing world where anything can happen. Here are a few of my favourites:

1. The Time Traveler's Wife
The sad but romantic story of Clair and Henry melts my heart. I cannot get my head around the whole concept of time travel and it took me a while to put that aside but once I did I thought the story was clever and beautiful.

2. The Twilight Saga
Ok, so I know it is predictable and every warm blooded female loves this, I also know it is aimed at a market of teenage girls (and if my husband is reading this - yes I know it is not real!!!). However in spite of all of the above I do not think I have ever read a book which has conveyed emotion in the way that Stephanie Meyer did in those books. Reading them makes me feel warm inside and describes in detail the ultimate love. Cheesy I know but Edward is without doubt my dream man (yes I am a little obsessed!).

3. Slash - It Seems Excessive... But that Doesn't Mean It Didn't Happen
The autobiography of Slash, formerly lead guitarist of Guns n' Roses. This is probably the most aptly named book I have ever read and left me wondering how that man is still alive. The fact he had a Pacemaker fitted by the age of 35 seems very tame after reading about his antics. It was interesting in many ways. I do however have a lot of respect for the talent and determination of this incredible character.

4. The Very Hungry Caterpillar
This has to make the list as it is one of the first books I remember reading and I loved it. This created my passion and love of books.

5. The Last Dive
A very sad (and true) story of the demise of a father and son during a very avoidable scuba diving accident. A bit of a miserable read but a lot of lessons to be learnt for a scuba diver! A gripping read.

7. The Harry Potter series
Just like a child, again I loved these books for the fantasy and imagination contained within them. Who cannot be interest in magic and wizardry!

Wonder Woman

I do not blog very often and one of the reasons for this is simply a lack of time and too many hobbies! I have however realised that I know a real life Wonder Woman and she goes by the blog name "Snaffles Mummy".

Snaffles Mummy is so talented and finds the time to do so many things, here are just a few examples:

1. Her blogs are second to none. They are funny, informative and sometimes emotional. I love sitting down and reading her tales - usually about 5 at a time because I have not had time!

2. She makes the best cakes. She makes cakes for family and friends and they are of a professional standard in both looks and taste. Mine however, on the rare occasion I get round to making them are inferior in both taste and looks!!

3. She is a Mummy and spends quality time with her son every single week. She is not a Mum who just carries on with mundane life dragging her son in tow. She enjoys being a Mummy and loves nothing more than spending time with her little boy. Every week, on her days off, she has some activity or other planned with him.

4. She works three days a week and travels about 40 miles each way to get there, yet never complains about the journey or long day and still seems to have more quality time at home than me!

5. This list could be endless but unfortunately being Little Miss "I haven't got time" I will have to end it on this final note. She is the kind of friend that some people can only dream of having. She is always there no matter what and makes the biggest effort for all of her friends and I am so proud to be one of them. I never feel I have enough time for friends and am always spread so thinly. Snaffles Mummy however is all things to all people - wife, mother, lawyer, author, baker friend... whatever your need she is always there to provide the service. She really is a real life Wonder Woman.


I am slightly jealous of her amazing talents... only a little, but thank goodness I am the recipient of such amazing skills. Keep up the good work xxx

Camping

So my next hobby I have a burning desire to blog about is Camping. Now camping is a little bit like marmite, there is not a single person when you mention it who does not have an opinion – they either love it or hate it. In my experience those who fall into the latter category have either never been or had one bad experience in the past (usually involving bad weather or insects) which has put them off for life.

Now camping has moved on a lot since I was young. It is no longer the case that after four hours of fighting with tent poles in the rain you have only a semi dry sleeping place where rain creeps in. In my view camping IS cool and great fun, provided you follow some important rules:

1. For the first few times go as the guests of a more experienced camper.
2. Always have a tent which holds at least double the capacity you need. Four man tents are designed for two people (unless you are prepared to be close – VERY close!!). I have an eight man tent for the two of us, which means for a weekend away I can also accommodate a couple of friends.
3.Luxuries are important. Don't take a sleeping bag – take a duvet, it is much more cosy. Always take a hot water bottle to warm the bed before you get in and cosy pyjamas are a must. Sleeping on the floor is for hardcore campers and idiots – get a decent airbed!
4.Take lots of warm clothes – being cold is miserable.
5.Essentials do include marshmallows to toast over the BBQ in the evening, hot chocolate made with real chocolate and biscuits for before bed time.
6.Choose the camp site carefully – do you want a pub on site or do you want to get away from all that?
7. Before you choose a tent of your own think carefully about what is important – go with a wishlist and do not compromise. A decent tent will cost you less than one week in a cottage and will last a few years. Mine would be this – quadruple the number of people for capacity, simple to erect (L don't be rude!), you can stand up inside it, plenty of living space, bedrooms at opposite ends of the tent, completely stitched in so nothing can get inside – not even an ant, thick material.

Now picture the scene – on a gorgeous summers evening sat outside the tent watching the sunset whilst drinking a bottle of wine, toasting marshmallows on the BBQ and putting the world to rights! Once you get drunk/tired make the menfolk prepare hot water bottles to warm up the cosy bed then when ready pop of to bed with just 5 easy steps. In the morning wake up to the sound of cows mooing and the smell of a breakfast being cooked on the BBQ – heaven!

I urge you all to try it just once this summer and see what you think – and yes that includes you Snaffles Mummy. You can't help but fall in love with the great outdoors this way!

Scuba Diving

In March 2003 I went to Majorca with my best friend to chill out before her wedding in the May of that year. Whilst I was there one of the activities was free “try scuba diving” sessions in the pool. The idea had interested me ever since my Dad had been diving in Turkey and told me how cool it was. I loved fish and though swimming with them sounded amazing! Anyhow my husband and I had a go and it seemed like fun so we signed up to have a go in the sea.

£70 and a tight fitting wet suit later and we were in the Mediterranean sea being briefed on the basics. Before going off on the dive we first had to complete three “simple” exercises:

1.Remove the regulator from your mouth and put it back in (that's right the piece of equipment which enables you to unnaturally breathe underwater is to be removed – whilst underwater)
2.Remove the regulator and then let go of it, retrieve it and then put it back in your mouth!!!
3.Let a small amount of water into your mask and then empty it again, whilst remaining underwater – without doubt the worst of all three tasks for a girl who cannot abide water in her eyes (even in the shower – let alone salt water)!!!

So 3 simple tasks demonstrated on land and kit bestowed upon us we got into chest deep water with the intention of sitting down to carry out the three “simple” tasks. Well it seems it was not all as straight forward as it had been in the pool. Lesson 1 in fact should have been - “how not to hyperventilate when the water is covering your head and you are sat on the bottom of the ocean”. Panic did not quite cover it. With the husband having completed the task with ease in about 30 seconds, I am pretty sure that my instructor felt he had drawn the short straw. He was however extremely patient and after around 30 minutes I had completed the three simple tasks and off we went on the underwater adventure. Lets just say that all my dreams from The Little Mermaid did not come to fruition!!! It was cold, grey and there was very little to see other than silver coloured fish. The most exciting thing we saw was a cuttlefish and that simply wasn't sufficient to make me forget the trauma of “choosing” to pour salt water in my eyes!!! We emerged after about fifteen minutes which my husband had said he thought it was amazing – with my considered response of “I AM NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN!”. Afterwards we signed their “guestbook” and I read lots of comments along the lines of “I wish I had had the courage to complete the dive” - doh – note to self – read the comment book first – I didn't realise quitting was an option!!!

Fast forward a year and my (not quite by that time) husband and I have a wedding in Sri Lanka planned with a honeymoon to my dream destination – the Maldives. All my life I have dreamt of an island paradise where the sand is white and feels like talcolm powder under your feet and the sea is torquoise, warm like bath water and you can still see your feet when the water is at chest height (I know – not that deep when you are 5ft tall!!). When I looked at the brochures as a young girl I realised that my dream was the Maldives.

So here I am dreaming of reading books and spa massages when my husband confesses his secret dirty thoughts to me. It goes something like this.... Apparently the Maldives is one of the best places in the world to dive and whilst there I would like to have a go. Now imagine my dilemma, having vowed never to put my self through that hell again, I now had this little monkey on my shoulder saying “what if he sees something amazing and you miss out...” GRRRR!!!

So I decide I am going to give it another chance. I do not want to do any horrid studying or “simple” skills on holiday so I look into doing it before we go so when we get on holiday we can just enjoy the diving! I got in touch with a fantastic and very patient instructor and we did a PADI referral course. When we got to the Maldives it really was the paradise I had always dreamed of and getting into the sea was like getting into a bath with visibility of 30 to 40 metres (much more then my my 1.52 metres in height). On our first dive we saw a manta ray and thereafter an array of colours and shapes including clown fish, turtles, sharks, rays.... it was like being on the set of “Finding Nemo” and was all my Disney dreams come true. With those surroundings salt water in my eyes seemed like a small price to pay. Since that holiday I have now logged about 140 dives. Following all of my reservations I have can now say with great conviction that there is no sound more mesmorising than a pod of wild dolphins coming to swim with you, nothing more awe inspiring than seeing a whale shark (the biggest fish in the ocean at up to 13 metres in length) gracefully swimming towards you, nothing more peaceful than sitting on ocean floor and watching a prehistoric looking Dugong graze on sea grass, nothing more breathtaking than a school of over 100 hammerhead sharks circling around you with shy interest and nothing that can make me smile like a playful seal pup nibbling on my fins.

Through diving I have experienced the mysteries of the ocean from shipwrecks that tell a thousand stories to some of the most interesting creatures on the earth. This is something which I never take for granted and something I am always humbled to have experienced which largely depends upon being in the right place at the right time. Having once said that I would never want to place my face underwater again there is now no place I would rather be.

Hobbies

My Life is extremely busy and hectic, this is not a complaint, I would not want it any other way. I have a gorgeous husband who I love very much. My family are a nightmare but my friends are the best and every day I am grateful that I have the best friends ever!

Part of my hectic life is my extensive list of hobbies, I have decided to start my blogging world by a short story about each including Diving, Photography, Playing Guitar, Travelling, Dogs, Reading, Camping... and no doubt a few more which will come to me so watch this space.

Just in case my husband decides to read my blogs - “stationery” as you suggested is not my hobby – maybe I will blog about my obsession at a later time though....

My Best Bits

SnafflesMummy has inspired me to write my “best bits” from 2009. It was a tough year, not least of all because I spent more than half of it with my teenage nieces living with me. This caused a lot of stress and the amount of thanks I got was zero, important lesson learnt. I can reflect on the things that made the last year difficult though and learn from them but more importantly think about the things that have made me the most happy during 2009. So in the style of Davina, here are my “Best Bits”...

1. Got Darwin

Darwin is my gorgeous tri-coloured Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. I have a Blenheim coloured Cavalier called Maisie who was 2 years old in June and this year we decided to get her a friend. Darwin was born on 8^th August 2009 and although he is cheeky and much naughtier than Maisie ever was I love him to bits!

2. My 30^th Birthday

I celebrated my birthday this year by going away to the peak district with some special friends including SnafflesMummy and Oooodles of Noodles. We have an amazing giggle and I loved it. That was a highlight.

3. London with Oooodles of Noodles

Oooodles of Noodles is my best friend in the whole world. We have been through good times and bad together and I can always rely on her to give me honest advice whenever I need it (including numerous occasions of being told to “have a word with myself”). Every year me and Oooodles go to London together for a girlie weekend and this year was no exception. We always have an amazing time and I never want to miss one of annual trips – keep them coming Oooodles....


4. Cornwall

As my blogs progress anybody who reads them will figure that I love traveling (and those who know me have already figured it!), mainly abroad but also in this country. One of my favourite places to be in the whole world is Cornwall and (again) I go every year (I am starting to sound like one of those boring people that go to the same places all the time – I am not honest!!!). This year I stayed in a cottage within walking distance to a cute little beach in Gorran Haven, with my Husband and Maisie (who loved it). I have no mobile telephone signal and loved every minute of it.


5. Halloween Party

For the second time in 3 years we had a Halloween party last year. We hired to local village hall and invited about 60 of our friends and family. We had a local band playing and fancy dress was compulsory. As I said this is the second time we have done this but I am always astonished at the effort people put into their outfits. I had a ball!


6. New York

In September I went to New York for 5 days with my husband. This was our first time in America and having done all the sights (in order with my meticulous planning and arrangements of “Post-It” notes in guide books) we were exhausted. We both indulged in shopping – me purchasing far too much (including compulsory shoes and handbag), eating and lots of laughing – loved it! Must go back (when I can afford it!).


7. Reinforced old and created new friendships

I am a very busy person (as I may have mentioned)and therefore I spend very little time with anybody who is not a true friend (and not enough with those who are). Oooodles of Noodles and SnafflesMummy are two of the best friends a girl could have. They are always therefore me and make me feel lucky every day for having the best friends. This year however my highlight in my “friendships” category has been becoming closer to Lemadee. I have worked with Lemadee for around 6 years and we have always got on. Lemadee however is very close friends with SnafflesMummy and through her we have become closer. This year she has been an amazing friend to me. We share tastes in music, books and films among many other things and I have been lucky enough to be involved in one of the most important things in her life this year – congratulations babe – can't wait to meet your little nudger x

So my New Years resolution for 2010 – be there for my friends and stop wasting precious time on those who don't deserve it! x

First Blog

Ok so I am new to the world of blogging. I am not sure how this is going to go or what I want to blog about yet. I set up my blog site some time ago but that is as far as I got. I thought tonight I would just sort out the layout, although that seems a little more complicated than I expected, so maybe if I have a blog to kick things off I can then reconsider the technical parts.

To be honest I am not yet sure whether my urgent desire to blog has anything t do with avoidance of having to watch RocknRolla with the husband! Another Guy Ritchie gangster film just does not interest me in the least, give me sparkling vampires anytime...

I am not yet sure what the blogging "etiquette" is but I guess I will pick it up as I go along. My friend SnafflesMummy is a pro so no doubt she will give me a few pointers. Also having read her blog religiously I have figured that the blogging world is a very friendly and helpful community to be a part of. So here's to a 2010 of (hopefully) interesting blogging...

Kx